Merry Christmas Eve! Damn, Polish is an absolutely terrifying looking language. Hopefully my previous slays have gotten you into the horror holiday mood, but if not you are in for a treat today.
Some of the flicks are animated. Some are claymation.
Some are obviously amateurish but still a good deal better than Santa vs. These yuletide treats were made with love, and I hope you enjoy them just as much as I do. Honorable mention: there is an excellent 7 minute short film that served as the precursor to Rare Exports. The film Christmas Evil come back tomorrow for a longer review details just how creepy it is for a middle-aged man to spy on children both nice and naughty.
Here is a short film written and directed by Stephen Reedy that distills the idea of becoming the target of a Santa Claus stalker. This one takes things a step further from just stalking children, as Santa is hauled into the police station after hacking up a few naughties with a meat cleaver. This very dark tale was written and directed by Drew Daywalt. In this claymation short we can see a despondent Santa inches away from simply giving up. Then he gets a visit that is simply out of this world.
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Can extraterrestrials get Santa Claus back into the Christmas spirit? This short was animated by the artist Mr. Again, we find a depressed Santa, and see exactly what happens when he gives up. This is probably the most funny pick on the list, as the elves use the Christmas Necronomicon to bring Kris Kringle back from the dead. As you can imagine, an undead Santa would prefer brains over cookies on Christmas Eve! Following the idea of a zombie Santa is this one where Santa Claus is a vampire possibly? This is an episode of a show called Boss Hospital by Raym Hensley , which appears to be a little know gem of comedic weirdness.
Elf on the Shelf is a recent holiday tradition, but a strange one none-the-less. Santa has enlisted the help of these stone-faced smiling creeps the world over to watch over kids and ensure that they stay good during the holiday season. But when imbued with magical powers they become all the more unsettling. There are several weird Elf on the Shelf videos online, but this one is the most effective.
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Here is an amateur film that has to be, technically speaking, one of the best. It was directed by Ryan Richardson and seemingly only featured his family members. Orphanages never seem to be especially happy places, but as Silent Night, Deadly Night , and this short film and the following one show us, they can really be deadly during the holidays.
This is a creepy poem about another deadly Christmas at the orphanage. The imagery used in the video is great, and the poem is off-putting. My last pick for this holiday themed list of scary shorts comes from the full-length Evil 2. So holiday horror hounds, cuddle up close to the fireplace and try to keep warm while watching these chillers! Welcome back to the list espouse all of the ho ho horror this holiday season. This self-proclaimed family man killer has been hired by a syndicate to off Jolly Old Saint Nick, but outside of the money, he says that it is personal.
What is the horror he holds from his childhood that makes him despise Santa so? In a surprisingly tense story, this cold-hearted man struggles with what he claims to be the arbitrary moral codes upheld by the mythical Kris Kringle. In this story, he faces up to the true meaning of Christmas, and how his profession has left him cold and dead inside.
This is an excellent piece and quite a dark departure from the cheesy stuff elsewhere exhibited in this list. Drabblecast is a podcast that delivers strange stories, by strange authors, for strange listeners. Check out the latest episode by clicking HERE. In the Drabblecast, Mr. Sherman sings a familiar holiday tune with updated Yule Lad lyrics. For the eighth slay of Christmas, this genre gave to me, crazy dancing eyebrows, Santa vs. After taking a day to recover from the seventh slay of Christmas — the horror that was Santa vs.
Mail Order Zombie: Episode 146
All of the kills. Both psycho Santas. The gratuitous sexy bits. All of the gore and none of the goodness! It really is quite amazing how they were able to include just about everything of importance from the first movie — minus the crazy grandpa and the working-at-a-toy-store montage. Then there is another 40 minutes or so of new stuff that is less rushed, less focused, and more crazy than everything from the previous film. The story is like this: Ricky has followed in the genetic footsteps of his brother, and like his grandfather, has ended up in some sort of mental hospital for the criminally insane.
On Christmas Eve, he is visited by a psychiatrist to be interviewed about his past transgressions. From this time forward, he gets set off whenever he encounters a tense situation along with the color red. His first kill is to a would-be rapist, who he runs over with a red Jeep. Later, after growing up a bit, he kills an extortionist in a back-alley with an umbrella through the belly because he had a red handkerchief and needed to be punished.
You guessed it — the car was red. Unfortunately, this is the tipping point for young Ricky, because he then proceeds to kill everyone else in the nearby vicinity.
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He then kills Barney Fife whose firearm lets Ricky continue his shooting spree, killing a football player, a poor soul casually taking out his garbage despite gunshots in the neighborhood , and an explosion-prone red car. However, he does not kill the little girl with a red bow in her hair riding her tricycle around an urban warzone. The most senseless of these kills — the man acting out a simple garbage day routine — has since been immortalized in this oft seen clip:.
Eventually the cops — better armed and less idiotic than before — catch up to Ricky, but they are more concerned about him foolishly throwing his life away with the revolver at his temple than trying to put down this spree killer. Afterwards Ricky ends up behind bars where doctor 13 has just finished with his interview. After making an off-screen escape through the orderlies, Ricky finds and kills a Santa Claus, relieving the poor guy of his suit, and makes after Old Mother Superior.
While Ricky goes after the old wicked nun, the nun accompanying the police, Sister Mary, informs them that Mother Superior has retired, lives alone, and has had a stroke. Judging by her face, she must have had that stroke next to an open fireplace. Here are some of my other favorites from Silent Night, Deadly Night I could squash you like a bug.
Fuck this! Red car! Good point! Sounded like some squirrel getting his nuts squeezed. This film was less serious than the original, and much more fun overall. In terms of my list so far, this movie is miles ahead of Santa vs. Technically though, it is a fine film as the editing and music are both strong. Sadly, the atrocious acting and those damn dancing eyebrows puts this out of the realm of scary. This film is like that hideously designed, itchy sweater your great aunt made you that your mom makes you wear to the extended family X-mas get-together. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.
Home About Archive. Geek of the Week This one is not a walker, but a corpse. I liked the bit of hiding in the car. That and the random shack in the woods reminded me of a great, recent zombie flick called The Battery. It is a low budget but compelling character piece with only two main characters.
GirlZombieAuthors: Silent Night, Zombie style
And they spend a lot of time at a woods in a shack and stuck in a car. How long do you think a zombie would hang before the rope finally cuts clear through the neck? A dead body would probably hang for a pretty long time. But I imagine that the friction caused by all of their undead movement would slowly cause the rope to saw through dead flesh. It is not surprising to see how Reedus has given his character such longevity, but who would have thought that the whiny suicidal girl from the farmhouse would have stuck around for so long?
Peach schnapps really would be a shit first drink.
Thanks for reading! All these nameless folks though, they were good people. Rick He is the least consequential character in this episode, as he fights a bit with Carl, fails to fully hatchet a zed in the head, and eventually passes out for a day-and-a-half. Carl The zombie apocalypse only exacerbates teenage angst.